


Day 29 of No Fuel on “Some Kind of Space Food Truck”

by PhilArgus



Category: Deadly Space Action
Genre: Alcohol, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhilArgus/pseuds/PhilArgus
Summary: For the most part, the crew felt like they were still light years from fuel thanks to Madison’s massive oversight. Most of them seemed to have exhausted all of their options, alternating between going at each other’s throats, completely ignoring each other’s existence, and eating and re-eating Bestus’ arms that seemed to regenerate strangely quickly — and didn’t taste that bad, all things considered. One quiet day, Saige hits a roadblock in her endless plotting and needs some more inspiration.
Relationships: LeMarion/Bestus





	Day 29 of No Fuel on “Some Kind of Space Food Truck”

**Author's Note:**

> Taking place sometime during the events of Mini #11: “Do Not Suffer Fuels.”

For the most part, the crew felt like they were still light years from fuel thanks to Madison’s massive oversight. Most of them seemed to have exhausted all of their options, alternating between going at each other’s throats, completely ignoring each other’s existence, and eating and re-eating Bestus’ arms that seemed to regenerate strangely quickly — and didn’t taste that bad, all things considered. 

About a week in, Madison had finally checked the fridge and found that it was stocked full of alcohol. Less than two weeks later it was supposedly all gone between the lot of them, causing more friction and irritation throughout the crew and destroying morale yet again. The reality was that Saige had actually hoarded a small supply. In fact, Saige was the only one of them who had actually managed to find a way to entertain herself, whether it was through writing her own terrible fan fiction of whatever media had consumed her brain for that week, or by tormenting her unfortunate shipmates by subjecting them to said fanfiction. Predictably, her secret stash of alcohol was used for express purpose of fueling her bouts of creativity, taking the “Write drunk, edit sober” cliche a little too literally, as most people tend to do.

One quiet day, Saige had hit a roadblock in her endless plotting and needed some more inspiration. She rummaged blindly through her closet in search of her secret stash that was dwindling a lot quicker than originally intended. Filled with determination, she pulled out a hefty bottle and quickly scanned its contents.

“Ughhhh,” she groaned, “this is like the shittiest vodka on the ship! In space!! And the future, combined!!” Her eyes fell onto the alcohol content, and she gasped quietly. “Oh, nevermind. Maybe the second shittiest.” 

A scream erupted from down the hall, causing Saige to nearly drop the bottle and shatter her hopes of an evening of mediocre alcohol and writing. She jumped to her feet and peered out her bedroom, but saw no movement, although now she could hear the start of what sounded like muffled sobs. Saige shuddered and looked down at the alcohol still in her hands.

“Well...At least one of these current problems can be solved with this. Maybe more. Here goes everything!”

Saige listened carefully as the cries continued, and soon found that the source of the sobs appeared to be coming from LeMarion’s room. She almost sighed in relief, knowing that LeMarion had already racked up many hours sobbing alone to himself in his room, smearing his mascara and giving him the appearance of a surly raccoon. She chuckled to herself at the image before she knocked on his door. Whatever the reason for the hysterical shriek and dramatic tears, it was sure to be good. At no answer, however, Saige took it upon herself to enter without permission.

“Okay I don’t really respect your privacy that much so I’m coming in, Mar-Mar!” 

As she swung open the door and stumbled into the room, she found herself gasping and nearly dropping her bottle of vodka for the second time. Before her, LeMarion sat on the floor, black tears dripping off his chin, surrounded by a pile of peculiar items, items that appeared to be little plastic figurines. He didn’t even bother to look up or even react at Saige as she came in. She walked directly past her distraught employer and instead plucked aa figurine off the ground that caught her eye — mostly because it had quite the uncanny resemblance to her.

“Hey, what’s — what’s this crap?” She held the piece up, then took a closer look at the other various things on the floor. Saige cast LeMarion a sidelong glance. “These aren’t like my voodoo dolls, are they? Because, you know, I did it first, so that would be _really_ uncool for you to copy me like that. And voodoo is really serious, I don’t know if you should be messing around with—”

LeMarion, as though only just now registering Saige’s existence, sprang up and snatched the figurine from her hands, his face contorting into a snarl. “ _Who said you could come in here?!_ ”

“Were you not listening? My own self,” Saige retorted. She found it hard to be intimidated by him in general, but it was even harder to now with his face soaked with tears. “Hey, I’m looking for fanfic fodder and heard you sobbing like a baby, so I thought that was a good place to start as any.” 

Saige looked back down at the mess on the floor, and then back at the figurine in her hand. She almost fell over laughing when she came to the realization that the figurine she held was, in fact, a tiny replica of her, and the rest of the figurines on the floor were supposed to be her other crew-mates. She immediately lowered herself to the ground, set her bottle of alcohol aside, and began getting her hands all over these fascinating figurines that were laying in a disarray all over the floor.

“Quit touching my _things!_ ” he bellowed. The blush spreading across his face was palpable, but it betrayed the anger in his voice.

“You know, you could really have some fun with these,” Saige said, marveling at the intricate detail of some of them. She widened her eyes at the Orton figurine and cradled it to herself. “I’m taking this. _This_ one’s mine.”  
  
LeMarion hobbled over and tried to wrench it away, but she was quick and held it out of his reach. His eyes were welling up with tears again, but he was not able to find the words to contradict his employee who was already going a million miles ahead of him.  
  
Saige held the Orton figurine closer to her face, scrutinizing it. “That reminds me. Why were you even crying? Did something happen in your roleplay?”  
  
She swiveled her head to look at him just in time to catch a brief flash of horror in his expression before it switched to fury. He opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. He gave up before he even began.  
  
“Alright, alright, chill!” Saige chirped, a bit slow on the uptake. She rose to her feet and gestured at the figures she was leaving behind on the floor. “I understand. Shit is complex.” She took another swig from the bottle and shuddered. A thought crossed her mind, one that could keep the night interesting, and this helped her perk up suddenly.

LeMarion appeared to sense this change and he eyed her suspiciously.

“Sooo,” Saige said, absolutely unable to keep it casual, “did you still happen to have your complicated shipping chart?”

A look of panic streaked across LeMarion’s face. “ _WHAT_ SHIPPING CHART?”

“Aw, don’t play coy!” Saige leaned in and playfully (albeit forcefully) pinched his cheek. LeMarion responded by shoving her with a roughness that almost caused her to topple over. She was not phased, and instead adopted a childish, singsong tone. “ _LeMaaaaarioooon_ ,” she crooned. “I wanna know!!”

“HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW OF ITS EXISTENCE, YOU WORM?” he pressed, not exactly helping his case. Although he was never very good at that, anyway.

Saige’s expression dropped. “Okay, first of all, your voice _carries_ , I hope you know that. Just because I’m not in the room doesn’t mean I can’t hear it echoing off every damn wall in this place. And _secondly_ , and arguably more importantly, well — Alex told me. But I mean, she tells me everything, so.”

“WHAT?!” LeMarion screeched, his cheeks flushing. “WHAT BUSINESS OF IT IS HERS?”

“Dude, you showed her! Also, she was incredibly drunk.”

“Well… _She_ …” He sputtered for a moment, not quite sure where to start. Saige watched him with incredulity, before giving him a rough slap on the back.

“Listen Mar-Mar, you need some of this,” she said, pointing fiercely at the bottle. She took another swig of it herself, still shuddering violently as she did so, before pushing it toward LeMarion. “Man, you never get used to proof like this.”

He hesitated, but put the bottle to his lips, refusing to take his eyes off of Saige. At the first taste, he choked and gagged. “What is this _demon juice_?!”

Saige bust out laughing again, snatching the bottle away. “I dunno, it’s like — it’s like… Y’know, I don’t really know. I kinda feel like I’m explaining alcohol to a child right now. But I don’t really know what brand this is, I’ve never seen it before. It’s got a real nice, a real… You know…” She furrowed her brows at him as her incoherent thoughts came together again. “Wait a minute. You’re getting off topic!!”

LeMarion shuddered and forced himself to take the tiniest sip. He choked again as he felt it burning his throat. “Is this going to kill me?!”

“No, but this question might. Why did you like, not ship Bestus with anyone but me?” Saige said.

LeMarion began clawing at his throat, as though he were afraid the alcohol _were_ burning his insides. “I don’t _like_ how this feels.”

She hiccuped painfully and sank to the floor. LeMarion reluctantly sat beside her.

“God, Mar-Mar. I’m such a lightweight. Or possibly just really dehydrated. The high alcohol content is really probably why you’re suffering so much. Or the embarrassment. O-oh yeah… Don’t dodge the question.”

LeMarion couldn’t be sure if the burning really was from the alcohol or the blush spreading rapidly up his neck.

Saige downed more of the liquor. “I mean, I’m married, like, canonically. I mean I know _Orton_ is too, but you can ship that guy with _everyone,_ no problem. That’s just the kind of guy he is. But me? Don’t you think that’s a little…” All at once, the realization hit her, and her eyes widened dramatically. “Wait a second… You _like him_!”

“Wh-WHAT?” LeMarion bellowed.

“No, no! It ALL makes sense now! How did I not see it before? How have _I_ not shipped you guys?! It’s because you knew we couldn’t date, and being as tsundere as you are, you wouldn’t dare put _yourself_ —”

She continued babbling excitedly, slurring her words and gesticulating wildly, despite LeMarion’s shaking head. “I mean, and you had— I mean _look_ at this!! You shipped yourself with everyone _but_ him! How is this not incredibly obvious to everyone else?! This is like hiding in plain sight!”

Tentatively, LeMarion shakily rose to a standing position, though he was wobbling horribly as though he were just learning to walk… his _original_ legs notwithstanding. He turned toward his closet toward the back of the room, which was cracked open far enough so that Saige could see it was teeming with strange junk that did not seem befitting for a space captain — although it explained plenty about him. In the brief moment that Saige could see into his closet before her vision started doubling everything else in front of her, she thought she caught sight of more assorted action figures that looked oddly familiar.

“What… What are you doing, man?” Saige piped up as LeMarion began rustling around in some cabinet full of disorganized papers. “No, no. You can’t… I wanna talk about this. The complexities and subtleties of your… of the…” She was starting to lose her coherence as more of the alcohol hit her a little harder. She set the bottle aside and gave it a stern look. “No, really. This is… This is _so_ important.”

“And just _where_ would you get that preposterous idea from?!” LeMarion spat back. He turned to face her and shuffled awkwardly over.

“Whatcha got there, m’dude?”

LeMarion groaned and dropped a poster-board that had seen way better days into her lap. Saige gasped excitedly. Her hands shook as though she were afraid to touch it out of sheer reverence for this chart that had been folded and crumpled many times — clearly pored over and thought about on more than one occasion.

“It’s beautiful,” Saige exhaled. “And it looks just how I remember it looked.”

LeMarion raised an eyebrow at his drunken shipmate. “YOU’VE NEVER SEEN IT.”

“I have _now!_ ”

“You didn’t KNOW about who I SHIPPED WITH WHOM until this very moment.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve _dreamed_ about you having this chart, seeing it, I dreamed about this _moment_ , and it’s just how I imagined,” Saige slurred, finally running her fingers over the different pictures. “Man, Alex was right. You really _don’t_ ship the green bastard with anyone but me.” She started giggling uncontrollably.

“IT’SNOTWHATYOUTHINK!” LeMarion sputtered, tearing the chart out of her hands. 

She scoffed and folded her arms. “I still have it memorized, ya know. I didn’t _really_ need to look at it.”

“IT’S NOT… what you think,” he repeated, more to himself than to her, because she was still babbling incoherently to herself.

“Oh, huh? What’s that, Mar-Mar?”

“Or— Or maybe…” LeMarion furrowed his brow and stared intensely at his chart.

Saige quirked an eyebrow at him. “You good, big guy?” She took a rough fist to her sternum to force an uncomfortable burp out.

After a beat, LeMarion shook his head and dropped the poster-board to the floor. They met each other’s eyes, and Saige couldn’t help but giggle at the blush that was making its way across his face yet again. At this point, embarrassment was just apart of his complexion.

LeMarion and Saige jumped with a start at a sudden banging on the door. Saige widened her eyes, then fell back into her explosive giggles. The sharp knocking continued, more insistent this time, and Saige continued to chuckle in spite of herself while LeMarion struggled frantically to shove his chart back into the closet.

“Who _is_ it?” Saige said in her playful sing-song. “Come on in and join the party!”

The door swung open, and Bestus stood glaring into the room through exhausted eyes.

“ _Hey dickheads_ , can you maybe think about keeping it down in here?! Or at least tone it down to a dull roar?” he squawked, folding his arms impatiently.

“Oh, my bad, friend,” Saige said, shaking her head. She suppressed a tiny burp to prepare herself for her next savage blow. “We _all_ know you need your beauty sleep. Because you really don’t get like… Any. Which is why you look like that.” She bust out laughing once again and elbowed LeMarion to encourage him to laugh with her, but he could only sit there shaking, his cheeks flushed and burning. “Eh? _Ehhhh?_ ”

Bestus squinted through blurry eyes at the perpetrators, trying to get a read on them. He surveyed the state of the room. The two of them looked absolutely hopeless messes already, but when Bestus’ eyes landed on the nearly empty alcohol bottle next to Saige on the floor, he rolled his eyes. He was expecting nothing, and he was still disappointed.

“Bestus! Hey Bestus!” Saige shrieked. She jumped up to her feet and almost fell right back over. “O-oh, gosh, my head… _Woah_. Head rush.”

“Is this going to take a long time?” Bestus sighed.

Saige shot finger guns at him before clumsily stumbling back over to the closet. “Check this out!” LeMarion screamed wordless protests at her as she swiped the shipping chart that was still dangling hopelessly out of the closet. 

“What is this crap?” Bestus groaned, massaging his temples.

“IT’S NOTHING,” LeMarion bellowed.

“H-he… Oh, my god, he ships you with _me!_ ” Saige stammered, pointing excitedly at his picture. “It’s a— you see?! It’s a shipping chart!! It’s got everyone and he only has you with me!”

There was an uncomfortable pause as Bestus looked from her to the chart, and from the chart to LeMarion, who was still shouting in the background but at this point was remarkably easy to tune out.

“Ugh. _Gross_.” Bestus turned on his heel and made for the door. Turning in the threshold, he growled through his teeth, “Now _zip it_ in here or I’m coming back to _kill you both_.”

He slammed the door behind him. LeMarion and Saige stood in silence for a good thirty seconds before the latter erupted into giggles again.

“SHUT. UP. WORM.” In spite of himself, LeMarion began to cry. 

“LEMARION… Oh, my GOD! You’re like in _love with him!!_ ” Saige’s eyes were actually tearing up now, to her own surprise. She breezed through all of her normal drunken stages in less than an hour and landed right into her emotional ramblings.

Inconsolable, LeMarion sat down sobbing next to her.

“I’m so proud of you, Mar-Mar,” she sniffled. She roughly patted his back before dropping to the floor herself. Saige was too far gone to be able to gauge how drunk her shipmate had gotten with her, if at all, but part of her hoped he hadn’t if only to ensure that at least one of them would remember _something_ in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man love creating new tags for tiny lil webtoon fandoms
> 
> I had this sitting in my files for a few years now half-finished so I figured WHY NOT and here it is. I miss DSA and here is hoping that Matt Wilson will continue sometime... F


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